So this is going to be a big one...
First grade I had only one friend at school, her name is Tatiana, she was really a good friend and helped me when the bullying started, when the hole class came after me at lunch to tease me, she told me to hide and protected me from them, she stayed by my side for 6 years and I have nothing bad to say about her, but life took her way when I went to 7th grade and she didn't and we just lost contact. I do still hope she's happy cause she really helped me a lot!
On the 7th grade I had what you can say "a lot of friends" they never knew what was going on and we were just a big group of young kids and my best friend at the time was Nânci, I don't really think she was a true friend but we got along, I guess it was that age when you just talk shit behind everybody backs so I guess she did that a lot with me. We were friends until the 8th grade because she discovered a better friend so I was out of her life pretty fast. I was so angry that I started to hang out with this girl named Teresa, she was a nice friend but had already lived things I've never had, like had sex, smoke, drugs, etc. So she kinda intruced me into that world, I started missing classes and smoking and having drinks at school, she was also the girl who "stole" my first boyfriend. So I guess that says it all.
At all this time in my life I had a neighbor whose name is Marisa, she was always very sweet to me, she was the one who taught me how to read and to write and maths, she helped me a lot when Teresa did that to me, after all Marisa was the only friend I had.
So at this time I changed to another school and I was in the 10th grade, my ex-boyfriend was in my class and Teresa was at my school so I was in a really lonely place at that time. I decided to hang out with this girl, called Filipa I never really liked neither she liked me, but we kinda started talking and got along so we became friends really quickly. She was a really good friend after all, probably the one that respected me the most in all those years. Until the 11th grade we were a fucking team, we did everything together, talked about everything with no shame at all, it was really nice, but she also started to be kinda "bad" for me, idk I never really understood what happend with our friendship, I guess we started to grow apart. At this stage Marisa didn't exist in my life anymore because she started dating this toxic dude and he made her stop talking to me, lol.
Since my life at that school was hell I decided to change schools again and went to another town, like a fresh start. I wasn't friends with anybody and I kinda didn't want any friends, I would prefer to be alone and left alone!
But then my class I guess felt sorry for me and started to try to include me in their things, not all of them but some. And I really enjoyed the company of this girl called Margarida, she's still my friend till this day, although we are not so close anymore, but still. She was kinda possessive and insecure but such a GOOD friend, I never had a friend like her, until that thing with that guy happen and she turned her back on me, I guess thats when we started to be less friends, but I have nothing against her and she still tries to stay in my life, even if I push her away so I guess that shows that she really is my friend.
School ended and I thought THANK GOD ITS OVER. At this time I was already with my current boyfriend and we had a little group, mostly boys but the girlfriends of 2 of them were part of the group too, they became my friends.
So I don't really know anything about them nor do they know about me, we kinda just talk about our relationships, so its just that tbh.
When I started to hang out with them I also made a friend out of that group, her name is Ariana and she's my best friend.
She's like my twin, we have the same way of thinking about everything and we really do get along, I can talk to her about everything and so does she with me. We don't have that kind of friendship that we have to see each other all the time and its a really healthy relationship and I really enjoy it. We used to talk everyday but life happened and she has been busy with work so thats normal at this age, I honestly get it and I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't tbh.
So I really have one friend and some people that I get along with but thats it.
I don't feel that anybody really cares besides Ariana and she hasn't been very present, so it kinda feels really lonely again...
When I talk to somebody I always feel like I'm being really anoying and bothering them with my shit, so I stopped talking and all of them stop asking so thats it.
Thats my jorney so far with friends...
First grade I had only one friend at school, her name is Tatiana, she was really a good friend and helped me when the bullying started, when the hole class came after me at lunch to tease me, she told me to hide and protected me from them, she stayed by my side for 6 years and I have nothing bad to say about her, but life took her way when I went to 7th grade and she didn't and we just lost contact. I do still hope she's happy cause she really helped me a lot!
On the 7th grade I had what you can say "a lot of friends" they never knew what was going on and we were just a big group of young kids and my best friend at the time was Nânci, I don't really think she was a true friend but we got along, I guess it was that age when you just talk shit behind everybody backs so I guess she did that a lot with me. We were friends until the 8th grade because she discovered a better friend so I was out of her life pretty fast. I was so angry that I started to hang out with this girl named Teresa, she was a nice friend but had already lived things I've never had, like had sex, smoke, drugs, etc. So she kinda intruced me into that world, I started missing classes and smoking and having drinks at school, she was also the girl who "stole" my first boyfriend. So I guess that says it all.
At all this time in my life I had a neighbor whose name is Marisa, she was always very sweet to me, she was the one who taught me how to read and to write and maths, she helped me a lot when Teresa did that to me, after all Marisa was the only friend I had.
So at this time I changed to another school and I was in the 10th grade, my ex-boyfriend was in my class and Teresa was at my school so I was in a really lonely place at that time. I decided to hang out with this girl, called Filipa I never really liked neither she liked me, but we kinda started talking and got along so we became friends really quickly. She was a really good friend after all, probably the one that respected me the most in all those years. Until the 11th grade we were a fucking team, we did everything together, talked about everything with no shame at all, it was really nice, but she also started to be kinda "bad" for me, idk I never really understood what happend with our friendship, I guess we started to grow apart. At this stage Marisa didn't exist in my life anymore because she started dating this toxic dude and he made her stop talking to me, lol.
Since my life at that school was hell I decided to change schools again and went to another town, like a fresh start. I wasn't friends with anybody and I kinda didn't want any friends, I would prefer to be alone and left alone!
But then my class I guess felt sorry for me and started to try to include me in their things, not all of them but some. And I really enjoyed the company of this girl called Margarida, she's still my friend till this day, although we are not so close anymore, but still. She was kinda possessive and insecure but such a GOOD friend, I never had a friend like her, until that thing with that guy happen and she turned her back on me, I guess thats when we started to be less friends, but I have nothing against her and she still tries to stay in my life, even if I push her away so I guess that shows that she really is my friend.
School ended and I thought THANK GOD ITS OVER. At this time I was already with my current boyfriend and we had a little group, mostly boys but the girlfriends of 2 of them were part of the group too, they became my friends.
So I don't really know anything about them nor do they know about me, we kinda just talk about our relationships, so its just that tbh.
When I started to hang out with them I also made a friend out of that group, her name is Ariana and she's my best friend.
She's like my twin, we have the same way of thinking about everything and we really do get along, I can talk to her about everything and so does she with me. We don't have that kind of friendship that we have to see each other all the time and its a really healthy relationship and I really enjoy it. We used to talk everyday but life happened and she has been busy with work so thats normal at this age, I honestly get it and I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't tbh.
So I really have one friend and some people that I get along with but thats it.
I don't feel that anybody really cares besides Ariana and she hasn't been very present, so it kinda feels really lonely again...
When I talk to somebody I always feel like I'm being really anoying and bothering them with my shit, so I stopped talking and all of them stop asking so thats it.
Thats my jorney so far with friends...
Comentários
Enviar um comentário