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Part 3 - "Friends"

So this is going to be a big one... First grade I had only one friend at school, her name is Tatiana, she was really a good friend and helped me when the bullying started, when the hole class came after me at lunch to tease me, she told me to hide and protected me from them, she stayed by my side for 6 years and I have nothing bad to say about her, but life took her way when I went to 7th grade and she didn't and we just lost contact. I do still hope she's happy cause she really helped me a lot! On the 7th grade I had what you can say "a lot of friends" they never knew what was going on and we were just a big group of young kids and my best friend at the time was Nânci, I don't really think she was a true friend but we got along, I guess it was that age when you just talk shit behind everybody backs so I guess she did that a lot with me. We were friends until the 8th grade because she discovered a better friend so I was out of her life pretty fast. I was so angr...
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Part 2 - Guys

So I never had many boyfriends, I've first started dating when I was 14 and I thought it was for life (of course) but I was a child so it obviously didn't work out and that was all my fault, except the part when he decided to break up with me and then started to date my bestfriend 3 days later, so I lost my boyfriend and my bestfriend and that triggered my depression so bad that I didn't leave my bedroom for 3 months, but I eventually got over it, and I truly hope they're happy (yes they're still together, so I like to think I was a "bridge" for them to meet and be happy with each other.) I then had some "special friends" but nothing serious until I met a guy on the internet but he didn't live far from me and we dated for 6 months and then I ended it because I felt we were more friends than anything else and he's still a good friend of mine so that didn't end badly. But then I met this guy, he was in my class and he was funny and cu...

Part 1 - School

So where do I start? Well, the beginning right? But what if I don't know where it all started? Well I guess I can start by saying that I was always a happy kid, I've always loved to play outside (I live in the middle of nowhere so it's kinda nice and kinda lonely sometimes), I've always had cats and dogs to play with and I've had my bad days as a child of course, but I guess that's normal (?) So I was perfectly normal, no problems, no insecurities, just a kid with no sense about anything so I guess a happy kid :) Then Ive started school, and ahah youve guessed bullying. For the first 4 years of school it was kinda normal, I had one bestfriend and that was enough for me but on my 4th year of school (keep in mind that I was 8 years old) my class started to make comments about me, that I was fat (I wasn't, but Ive started to believe in them), ugly, etc... But my bestfriend was always there for me and always said "Don't listen to them, they're s...

Well... I guess this is hello!

So, hey. I'm 21 and this is my story one day at the time... I'll start by saying that I don't do this to achive something, I just wanna say whats going on inside my head and explain (anonymously and for no particular reason) why I am the way I am... And this is so hard you know? To talk about the reasons you feel so broken, so dead inside.. And I ask if someone is reading this, please don't judge... This is my life, not perfect, not a fairytail, not a story that you can change, so please be kind.